KotOR II: Hope

Despite all the strange and unnerving things that had happened along their journey, the scene before her now bothered Faryn perhaps more than anything else. She'd been rendered motionless in the doorway of the Ebon Hawk's port dormitory, her eyes staring vacantly ahead into the empty room. The problem wasn't so much the lack of Kreia's presence as it was the reason she was gone and the knowledge of what she had just done. Concerned for the safety of her friends, Faryn had barely been able to process what had happened as she'd moved across the Dantooine plains as fast as her legs would carry her. She'd known from the beginning that Kreia wasn't to be trusted, but as she'd entered the Hawk and surveyed the damage she couldn't help but feel that it was all her fault.

She ventured several steps forward into the dormitory, though her mind lingered in the Enclave's council chambers. Lying there in the grass, helpless and numb, she'd only been able to hear her own thoughts as they spun wildly through her head. To think that the Masters would have considered her the enemy after everything she'd done for them… She'd been angry at first, but after learning more about Kreia and seeing the way the regarded her she had a better understanding of why they were so quick to judge her. Being stripped of the Force seemed like ample punishment for allowing the old witch to manipulate her the way she had, but she'd been genuinely terrified when Vrook had threatened to do it. Fear… anger… She sighed. They were right to say that she was hardly a Jedi, but going so far as to call her a Sith… that wasn't fair.

The dorm was nothing more than a dorm now, still and silent. Before, it had been a place of learning, a place full of the Force. Faryn walked across the floor to the place where she had once sat beside Kreia, the place where the dust had been disturbed by their clothing. She felt nearly as empty now as she had before she'd been shown the Force again.

"I'm no Jedi," she muttered.

Even with her back to the door she knew that someone else had joined her there in the room. Faryn paused a moment, sensing Mical's presence and hoping it would bring her comfort. It didn't, however, thanks to everything the Masters had told her – she doubted she would ever view her friends the same again.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, his voice gentle. "You look troubled. I can feel it."

Faryn scoffed and looked down at her boots as she traced a line through the dust with her toe. "I don't doubt it."

Oh Mical. He was so wise and yet so naïve. She remembered him now from the Enclave so many years before. He couldn't have been more than twenty-three or twenty-four years old now, and he still bore a striking resemblance to that little boy she had once known. There were times when he drove her just as crazy as Atton or Kreia, but he always seemed to know exactly what to say and she admired him greatly for that.

"That is an odd answer," he said. "What did you mean by it?"

She looked up at him, studying his inquisitive blue eyes for a moment before responding. "Do you ever wonder why you're with me?"

"Never," Mical replied without hesitation. He took a step into the room and nodded toward her. "I believe in what we are doing – what you are doing. I am here because I choose to be."

He obviously didn't understand. Faryn shook her head, narrowing her eyes as she did so. "But how do you know?"

"I simply do," he said with a shrug. "There is nothing I can show you as proof except give you my word." He hesitated for a long time, his head cocked as he watched her. "Something happened within the Enclave. What is it?"

By his tone of voice Faryn knew he meant something other than the death of the Masters and Kreia's escape. For a moment she had to work hard at remembering what else had taken place – it already felt like a lifetime ago.

"I learned that I form connections through the Force," she replied, sighing, "and that is why other people follow me to their death."

"Then they do not understand you!" Mical exclaimed, shaking his head and taking another step toward her. "That is the danger of being a Jedi. When one separates themselves from others, chooses to lead a life of isolation, denying what makes them a feeling being – it is easy to make such judgments. And such judgments, I believe, are made in ignorance."

Faryn appreciated his attempts at making her feel better, she really did, but he wasn't helping. Everything that was happening could somehow be traced back to her. She'd chosen to follow Revan to war, resulting in her exile and the separation and isolation Mical spoke of. She'd allowed Kreia to reintroduce her to the Force, the thing that was drawing these people to her and putting them in so much danger. The worst part was that none of them had any control over it – she attracted followers without meaning to and they came along blindly without question. She gazed at Mical as he spoke, feeling immensely sorry for ever inviting him along and leading him into what had turned out to be a deathtrap.

Looking back now she realized that all these people were with her because she had tried to do the right thing and save them. What had she been expected to do, leave Atton on Peragus to be captured or killed by the Sith? Leave Mical in the Enclave sublevel to get attacked by mercenaries or laigreks? Kill Visas or allow her to be reclaimed by her master? There was the truth – by trying to protect her friends she had only introduced them to a new kind of danger, one they didn't recognize. Mical could go on all day about how he was there by choice, but Faryn could not bring herself to believe it. If he were to get hurt or killed, it would be because of her. Making a mental note to add self-blame to her list of faults, Faryn looked back down at her feet. I'm no Jedi.

"There is no danger in what you represent, other than your humanity," Mical was saying. It was almost as if he was reading her mind, which he more than likely was thanks to the blasted connection. "You change others, but I do not believe it is due to the Force. I believe it is because you are a natural leader, and because you feel connected to the people around you. Where they look at you and see the death of the Force, I look at you and see the hope for all life."

He paused a moment, giving his words time to sink in, and Faryn allowed them to. The young man possessed wisdom beyond his years and it never ceased to amaze her.

"And that perhaps a life lived without the Force is not the punishment it is believed to be," he continued. "I will understand if you feel you must go alone, but I ask that you do not." He began stepping slowly backward toward the door, stopping in the shadows of the corridor outside. "Instead, take strength from your connections to others. Do not forsake them, as you did in exile."

And with that he was gone, leaving Faryn alone in the empty dorm once more.